Love and intimacy I'll start with proximity - it is more...

Love and intimacy

I'll start with proximity - it is more understandable phenomenon in our lives, at least for me. Proximity - the feeling of close contact of two people. What is a contact in the relationship and interaction between people - it can be too long to understand, but I will limit myself in this short definition:
Contact - feeling the presence of another person in my life. That contact is an option that I'm interested in at the moment - this is a very real sense of here and now and connected with another person directly and clearly enough. And it depends on him in the same way as me. I'm talking about a mutual contact on an equal footing.

This feeling can be experienced and transmitted in different ways, verbally and not verbally - through the sights, sounds, facial expressions and gestures, through touch and body contact, and through other more subtle methods of energy exchange. And such a contact may be different degrees of involvement and depth of feeling of presence. That's a considerable degree of such presence can call this contact proximity. This is for the feeling at a particular moment.

The concept of proximity, I want to extend for a longer period than just the human contact. This anticipation, expectation of such contact. And aftertaste sensation after contact. And even some inner sense of contact in between, but that is clearly linked to this person.
Such proximity is usually very valuable for us. Though even if rare or elusive. And the person with whom such contact is often enough and it is very important - that such a person would like to call "my close."

And love - is that we have to close this leads. And it consists of three components.
1. The desire for intimacy.
2. The energy we are ready to send to achieve intimacy.
3. The ability to be in the vicinity.

And the relationship of love and intimacy turns out sometimes (or almost always) do not quite apparent. I'll tell you more. On the first point the easiest way - most often we can say that we love someone, meaning that this man would like to be close.
This is often referred to as love. But here we are already waiting for the difficulties. Who do we want to be close - with a real person, or the way that we related to it? In one way or another we are always in thrall of their fantasies and do not know what the reality is this man. And to determine what reality can only approaching it. And here comes into play such an important element of love as a choice to be together. There is a risk that the person to whom

If it is the desire for intimacy is strong enough, then we will have plenty of energy, which we are willing to spend to achieve intimacy. Cases where this energy much more than the average of our level, commonly referred to as being in love. However, if this energy is not directed to a real person, and in our internal image, even a strong infatuation does not lead to a real sense of intimacy. If we are the first point of bad understood, and the object on to the

But we can prevent another subtlety. The type and method of how we spend our energy on rapprochement with the partner. The discrepancy between the expected and giving can bring our work to naught. This problem is not bad dismantled in the book Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." In general - it is necessary to talk with your partner to know better how we can better communicate with each other energies. Even match types of energy (love languages) can not lead to the desired rapprochement

But when the first two points, we have understood well enough (or lucky) and convergence is happening very successfully, then comes into play the third element of love. The ability to be in the vicinity. It often happens that we reach that level of intimacy, to which aspired. As a result, upon reaching this level, the desire and the energy to go there and we are just good together.
This level of intimacy I call love realized. The love that we had for this man, was realized at the level of intimacy in which we find ourselves. With this, of course, it changes over time. But the main thing - it's pretty comfortable state, which I all and wish!

And if it's a sense of intimacy suits both partners - that is the key to long intimate relationship. As often happens with old friends.

But rarely with the closest people so simple. To be able to close the biggest for us (and close to), we can not for a long time. In my opinion, this is the most difficult moment. Why is it sometimes hard for a long time to be in a greater sense of intimacy and comprehensive? Fearfully? Unbearable? Sometimes it is all right, and do not even have perceived negative feelings, but still want to escape. Sometimes, even the desire to move away, we are not aware of, but suddenly okazyvaems

There could be many reasons, but the ability to be close with another person can be developed. Try to gently and gradually get closer. Stay a little longer, but not excessively so as not to run away suddenly and sharply. You've got to be careful, to our energy and desire for intimacy is not turned against us. It is from the closest we open the most and learn each other's closest to reality. And the closer we are, the more it hurts, sometimes, do each other,
The ability to be in the vicinity - a very important element of love.
And most are not obvious.

About the reciprocity of these elements of love the partners I can add a little. Of course, we need reciprocity. The first two paragraphs, perhaps, there may be some subjective inequality, which will be realized, probably on the principle of least commitment and energy (the rest will go by), and will bring unfortunate consequences in communication. And even quite possibly may be a beneficial addition. From a more energy goes into the overall mine

But with the ability to be in the vicinity need to be careful. Here the mismatch of available levels of intimacy can be fraught with sudden conflicts, runaway, disagreements without apparent reason. It should be in such moments as close heed to yourself and your partner.

It briefly.
Generally, this issue requires more research and careful observation.

Ewen Zamornikov

astromagiclab.ru

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